


truth is like blood underneath your fingernails

by lefargen



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 08:46:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17915627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lefargen/pseuds/lefargen
Summary: They don’t get to do this very often, both extremely busy as they finish up their senior year of high school. They see each other every single day but it’s not the same. Other people are around. They don’t kiss. They don't cuddle. They barely even touch, unless Donghyuck is feeling especially needy that day.Mark and Donghyuck have been dating for two years. No one knows.





	truth is like blood underneath your fingernails

**Author's Note:**

> hello guys! here is my last fic for the month of february. i set a goal for myself to post a fic every Sunday for the month of february to celebrate love (lol i know its cheesy) and i achieved it and i am very proud of myself. Please enjoy!

Mark is always so busy. Between school, and basketball practice, and Bible study, and a social life he barely has time to think. But he always makes time for this. 

This being laying in bed, sprawled out on his back with Donghyuck clinging to his chest as he rubs lazy circles on the small of his back. They’ve been in this position for an hour, and probably won’t leave anytime soon. They’d missed this. The indescribable feeling of warmth that spreads through the body when you’re in the arms of the person you love. 

They don’t get to do this very often, both extremely busy as they finish up their senior year of high school. They see each other every single day but it’s not the same. Other people are around. They don’t kiss. They don't cuddle. They barely even touch, unless Donghyuck is feeling especially needy that day. 

Mark and Donghyuck have been dating for two years. No one knows. 

They save these moments for times when they are alone. A quick kiss in Mark’s car when he drops Donghyuck off after school. A barely-there squeeze of the hand as they pass each other in the hallway. Mark’s hand finding Donghyuck’s thigh under the table as they eat lunch with their friends. Cuddling in Mark’s bed when his parents aren’t home. 

It’s easy to mask. Donghyuck and Mark have been best friends since they were five. Their friendship has always been a little abnormal, the two much closer than what you’d typically expect, but it was just their dynamic. And because of this dynamic, no one second guesses the nature of their relationship. They’ve always been close, always devoted themselves to each other. Nobody asks questions. 

It’s a rare Saturday where neither Mark nor Donghyuck have any plans. The fact that Mark’s parents are out is an added bonus. If Mark is being honest with himself, he was getting a little antsy, fingertips itching with desire to pull Donghyuck close to him. It had been days since they had any sort of physical interaction, and despite Mark’s claims that he hates skinship, he can’t go too long without touching Donghyuck before he feels his body becomes desperate with need to be near his boyfriend. 

He sometimes wonders what it would be like to not have to worry; to not constantly be looking over his shoulder to make sure no one is watching. It’s not like there aren’t out kids at his school, one of his best friend has been been out of the closet for years with little to no pushback. 

But despite all of the claims that Mark is a lionheart, deep down he knows he is just a terrified little boy, afraid of what the world will do to him when they learn his most intimate secret. 

At least Donghyuck feels the same way. It’s amazing how two completely different people with opposite personalities always arrive at the same conclusion. They work together like magic, with a force that is too good to be true. They work together like they were specifically made for each other, like they are two halves of a whole. 

Mark is drawn from his thoughts by a certain someone tapping his chin. “What’s got you thinking so hard, loverboy?” Donghyuck asks with a teasing grin on his face. Mark blushes, unsure of what to say. He has never been particularly articulate with his words, and sharing his feelings embarasses him so much he usually stays quiet until he can’t keep his emotions in anymore. That’s how he ended up confessing to Donghyuck.

One day Mark will be brave. He will tell Donghyuck about how he is pretty sure they are soulmates, made specifically to live and love together. He will tell his friends and family that he is gay and has been in a committed relationship for two years. He will live a life out in the open, no more hiding behind closed doors. But for now, he settles for pulling Donghyuck towards him until their lips meet. 

He doesn’t know how long they spend kissing like this. When they have rare moments to themselves, they kiss slow and steady, nothing like the rushed kisses they are used to inbetween a few hidden moments. Mark takes his time exploring Donghyuck’s mouth, getting lost in the feeling of intimacy after spending too long apart. 

After awhile the kiss turns harder, more desperate. As if they know that they will have to stop soon, unsure of when they will able to be together like this again. Mark clutches Donghyuck’s back fiercely, one hand curling into his boyfriend’s wavy locks. Everything is perfect, until the sound of a garage door opening interrupts them. 

The two seperate immediately, knowing the hum from outside signifies the end of this moment. They must leave this little safe haven they’ve built for themselves and face the real world. Put back on the masks they live in and carry on with their day. Carry on under the guise that they are best friends and nothing more. 

“Mark honey, we’re home,” his mom calls from their kitchen. “Are you alone, or is my favorite son here?” she asks, voice echoing throughout the house. 

Mark rolls his eyes, ignoring the smirk on Donghyuck’s face. His mom has always had a soft spot for his boyfriend. Maybe it’s hereditary. 

Footsteps get closer and closer, until his mom is opening the door to his bedroom, a laughable distance already put between the two boyfriends. 

“Donghyuck sweetie, it’s so good to see you. Are you staying for dinner?,” she asks looking hopeful. She has a bright smile on her face, which Donghyuck returns easily. Seeing them interact like this makes Mark’s heart hurt. 

“I wish I could Mrs. Lee, but my mother is expecting me. I should probably get going actually,” he answers, getting up and grabbing his backpack that is discarded on the floor. 

Mark’s mom immediately pulls Donghyuck into a hug telling him not to be a stranger. Over her shoulder, Donghyuck mouths three words that have Mark’s heart beating rapidly all over again. _I love you._

Donghyuck leaves quickly afterwards, Mark’s gaze following him the entire way out of his room, staring longingly even after the door has closed and Donghyuck is out of sight. 

“Mark, sweetie are you wearing makeup?” his mom asks questioningly. Mark looks up confused, meeting his mom’s gaze. They have matching inquisitive looks on their faces, staring at each other like it’s some sort of confusion showdown. 

“What? Of course not, what are you talking about?” he asks. Mark knows for a fact that he is barefaced, so he really doesn’t know what his mother is getting at. 

“Then why are your lips so red?” she replies. 

Mark’s heart stops, begging his brain to stop screaming so he can answer the question. “Umm it’s been really cold out. I think they are just dry and chapped,” he says shakily, praying his mom will find his explanation convincing. 

She nods slightly, giving him another once over. “I’ll get you some balm,” she says before leaving the room. 

Upon her exit, Mark lets out a deep exhale, falling backwards onto his bed. That had been a close call, but after two years of hiding, Mark is used to it by now. 

☼

“I can’t believe Prom is only a couple weeks away,” Jaemin sighs with a dreamy look on his face, looking up from his math homework. Donghyuck rolls his eyes, quite used to his best friend’s overexcited nature. “Why are you so excited? You don’t even have a date,” Donghyuck replies snarkily. 

Jaemin sighs deeply. “Well not _yet_. But I’m working on it. A really cute underclassman came out last week and I am thinking of asking him to be my date. I know it’s cliche, but I want to experience Prom like all of the couples do in cheesy teen movies,” Jaemin says softly. 

Jaemin has always been a hopeless romantic, utterly in love with the idea of being in love. Donghyuck isn’t surprised that Jaemin wants the stereotypical Prom experience. What does surprise him, however, is the realization that he himself also wants the experience. 

Mark and Donghyuck agreed to go to Prom together, but only under the guise of friends. They had been planning on going with Jaemin too, to relieve some of the suspicion that may come from it, but it looks like that plan is out the window. 

Sure they will be together for the entire night, but it won’t be the same. They won’t get to slow dance together, wrapped in each other’s arms forgetting everyone around them. They won’t get to wear matching suits, displaying to the world that they are together. They won’t get to pin boutonnieres to each other’s chest, lost in the simple intimacy of it all. 

Donghyuck knows that if they came out, they could do all of it. But everytime the thought comes to his mind, he immediately shuts it down. The thing is, Donghyuck is almost positive that everyone in his life would be supportive if he came out. But there is something that always stops from telling everyone, even when it’s on the very tip of his tongue. 

He knows that what he is feeling must be some form of internalized homophobia, and the thought makes him shiver with shame. But Donghyuck just doesn’t think he is ready to be known as “the gay kid.” There is so much of himself that he wants the world to see. His talent for singing. His kind heart. His witty personality. Once he comes out, he is worried that all of that will be reduced to one thing. _Gay._

He knows it’s wrong for him to be thinking like this. But he wants to be “normal,” at least for a little while longer. 

“...So anyways I need you to help me plan the cutest promposal so he will agree to go to Prom with me and then fall in love with me and we can get married and have babies and..” Jaemin rambles before getting cut off. “Jesus Nana. I will help you, but calm down a little. You haven’t even asked the guy out yet,” Donghyuck responds. 

Jaemin has the audacity to look embarrassed. “Sorry. I’m just excited. I didn’t know if I would get the opportunity to have a Prom like this. Things are different for people like me, Hyuck.”

_People who are gay,_ Donghyuck’s mind supplies. He feels the shame rise up within him again. Jaemin would kill to have the kind of experience Donghyuck could have if he wasn’t such a coward. 

“I’m sure you guys will be very cute together. Win Prom King and King and all of that stuff,” Donghyuck comforts, trying so hard not to come across as guilty as he feels. He reaches out and rubs Jaemin’s shoulder, letting his friend know that he is there for him. 

He wishes Jaemin knew what an inspiration he was for kids out there. How desperately Donghyuck wishes he could be brave like him. Jaemin lives his life so freely and openly, while Donghyuck is trapped inside of a cage. A cage that he has the key to but refuses to leave, despite how much it tears him apart to be there. Despite how much he too wants to be free. 

He is drawn from his thoughts by Jaemin’s chuckle. “You know that’s not how it works. If we got to vote at Prom, then we would definitely win because we will be the cutest couple there, no doubt about it. It’s so stupid that class couple is automatically Prom King and Queen,” Jaemin huffs, obviously not pleased with their school’s tradition. 

“I agree. Yearbook day is the worst day of the entire year. Everyone rushes to get their yearbook just to see if they’re class couple. As if something as dumb as class couple is worth getting trampled over,” he says rolling his eyes. 

“You know damn well if either of us had a significant other we would be part of the stampede. Maybe we should pretend to date so we can win and bask in the attention,” Jaemin grins at him. Haechan gives him a weak smile back, before turning to his math homework. 

He almost tells Jaemin that he does have a significant other. That he started dating Mark two years ago, and at this point he is pretty sure the older boy is the love of his life. That he is just as gay as Jaemin is, maybe even gayer. But Donghyuck knows he isn’t as brave as his best friend, so he keeps his mouth shut, neck straining with tension as he continues to solve equations. 

☼

“...Amen,” Mark’s family declares in unison, hands grasped tightly, eyes closed and tilted towards the table in front of them. When Mark opens his eyes, he is immediately greeted by the sight of the dinner his mom prepared for him, mouth watering at the display in front of him. 

Mark cherishes this time so much. He has always been incredibly close with his family and it feels so comforting to be here with them like this in front of the dinner table, surrounded by his family, his favorite dishes, and easy conversation. They used to do this every night before his brother went off to college, but now they save it for the precious times they can all be together. 

Mark stays quiet for the most part, happy to sit and listen to the soft voices surrounding him. He is lost in the taste of his mother’s cooking, not following the conversation, until he hears that his brother has a girlfriend. 

His parents ask his brother a thousand questions, dying to learn everything they could about their son’s love life. Mark is very amused watching his brother being interrogated, until his parents turn to him. 

“What about you Mark? You aren’t hiding a secret girlfriend too, right?” his dad asks in between bites of the vegetable dish on his plate. Mark gulps at the question, unsure of how to answer. He has always been a horrible liar, but the truth sits just as heavy on his tongue. 

“No, dad. You know I’m too busy with school, and basketball and Bible study to have a girlfriend,” Mark says. Omission of the truth is not technically a lie. Or so he hopes. He tries not to let the turn in his mood affect the atmosphere of the room as the conversation continues. 

Mark wishes he could be open with his family, but the truth is he doesn’t know if they will accept him for who he is. He comes from a very religious household, something he wholeheartedly embraces. But there is always that reputation that comes with religious people: _intolerant, anti-gay, bigoted._

He really wants to think that his family is not like that but he doesn’t know for sure. He thinks about how happy and safe he feels in his dining room this evening, and he doesn’t want to lose that. The thought of no longer having a safe space here, the thought of no longer having a family tears him up inside. 

Mark hates the idea of choosing between his identity and his family. He knows he can’t ignore this part of himself, that it’ll never go away. He can’t give Donghyuck up after everything they’ve been through. But could be give up his family? Would he even need to?

The decision is too overwhelming. For now he knows he can have both, but he’ll have to keep these parts of his life separate. It’s not like he isn’t used to it at this point anyways. 

“Mark sweetie, you look like you’re thinking really hard over there. Is there something you would like to say,” his mom says, smiling at him softly in a way that makes him feel comforted and terrified all at once. Mark nods, his whole family looking at him expectantly. 

“Pass the carrots please.”

☼

Mark and Donghyuck are doing something they’ve never done before. They are being affectionate in public. They are sitting in a public park and they are all over each other. The park is 3 towns over from where they live. 

They are sitting under a large oak tree on top of a hill, the park vibrant with people soaking up the warm spring weather. The way the sun shines against Donghyuck’s tan skin is ethereal, and Mark doesn’t stop himself from kissing his boyfriend everytime the light reflects off of the freckles on his face. 

It’s so cliché, two lovers kissing under the sun on top of a red and white checkered blanket. Kids are laughing in the distance, dogs are barking, basketballs are dribbling, but nothing can pull their attention away from each other. 

Mark smiles at him so big that Donghyuck can’t help but wish it could always be like this. When he voices at much, Mark looks down, fiddling his fingers before reaching out and grabbing onto Donghyuck’s hand. 

“When we go away to college, let’s live openly. Let’s be honest from the start. I know we both want to keep this relationship a secret here, but maybe University can be a fresh start for us,” Mark suggests, face serious and concerned. 

Donghyuck thinks it over. The thought terrifies him to be honest. For some reason, Donghyuck feels perfectly capable of being himself around strangers, knowing he never has to see them again. The thought that the people closest to him will look at him differently, even if they aren’t looking at him negatively, scares him. He wants people to love him as he is, not as how they expect him to be. 

But Donghyuck knows it's now or never. The only person in his life that knows every part of him is Mark and if he doesn’t suck it up, he is never going to get to experience this freedom regularly. He will never start a life a Mark. So he nods. 

“I agree. I’m not going to lie, the thought scares me. But we are so trapped, living the way we are. I wanna be open with you. I want to live and grow with you,” Donghyuck states honestly, stroking Mark’s knuckles. 

Mark understands the reservations his boyfriend has. Hell, the only reason he is even suggesting this is because he knows they are going to University two hours away from home, where he knows his parents won’t be around. 

“I’m excited for what the future holds for us,” Mark says. “The thought of being able to introduce you as my boyfriend… it makes me.... I don’t know… proud?” he stutters, blushing a deep red. 

“Oh really? Proud of me, are you?” Donghyuck teases. Donghyuck has always been much too eager to laugh at his boyfriend’s expense, and this is no exception. 

Mark turns his focus elsewhere. The little boy playing on the playground. The loose thread of the picnic blanket. The squirrel running up the tree. Anything to avoid looking at his boyfriend and embarrassing himself further. 

“Well, I mean yeah. We are good together, really good. I’m quite proud of the way we work. Like soulmates,” he blurts out. 

Donghyuck freezes immediately upon hearing his boyfriend’s confession, and that is when Mark realizes what he just said. He knew it would come out eventually, his feelings always making themselves known despite how much he tries to repress them. The freedom that he feels from the fresh air and the sun, and _his_ sun proving to be too much for his heart to handle. 

“Y-you. You think we are soulmates,” Donghyuck says slowly. He feels like his heart is going to beat out of his chest. The truth is, Donghyuck has felt the same way since he was in elementary school. He didn’t quite know how to describe the feeling at the time, being that he was only a child, but he knew even then that his and Mark’s hearts were entangled irreversibly, irrevocably, and unconditionally. 

“Donghyuck. We are complete opposites. We shouldn’t work but he do. You fit me better than anyone else could and I can’t imagine having this with anyone else. So yeah, I think we are soulmates because my heart has never belonged to me, it’s always been yours,” Mark says earnestly, desperate to get this off of his chest. 

Donghyuck promptly bursts into tears. Because in all his life, he has never felt this free, this happy, this loved. “Mark, it’s the same for me. It’s always been you and it always will be,” he confesses. 

They spend the next minute staring into each other’s eyes basking in the feeling of bearing their heart to someone and having it accepted completely. Mark’s cheeks hurt from how hard he is smiling, and he breaks the moment only to pull Donghyuck in for a long, slow kiss. 

They eventually move so that they are laying down on the picnic blanket, completely lost in each other, the rest of the afternoon passing by without a care for anything or anyone. 

As Donghyuck lays there, face pressed so close to Mark’s chest he can feel every stuttering beat of his heart, he thinks he will be ready. Ready to begin a life in the open with Mark when they begin University. Because he knows absolutely nothing could interfere with the happiness he feels in this moment.

☼

After their day in the park, Mark and Donghyuck can’t keep their hands off of each other. Their little moment bringing them impossibly closer, their relationship reaching a whole new level. The usual walls they built around themselves are still there, but they’ve built a door, knowing they can leave whenever they choose. 

They know they are a little touchier than usual but they don’t think anyone has caught on. Mark’s mom catches them cuddling on the couch and she doesn’t even bat an eye. Donghyuck kisses Mark on the cheek before heading to class and none of their classmates mention it. Mark spends their entire lunch period with his hand glued to Donghyuck’s thigh and their friends don’t notice. 

Well, all but one. 

☼

Over the years, many people have asked Jaemin if Donghyuck and Mark were dating, and he has always denied it. He assumed his best friend would tell him if he had a boyfriend. Now he is starting to think that he assumed wrong. 

Jaemin knows that Donghyuck and Mark are in love. Being close to both of them, it is so obvious to see. He just figured that they were in that we-are-in-love-but-don’t-know-it-ourselves-yet phase. But watching them interact this past week has changed his mind. 

They are so lost in each other that Jaemin just knows something has happened. He is sure that they’ve figured their shit out and gotten together. He’s almost positive at this point. In fact, he’s surprised that none of their other friends have noticed. 

But Jeno is unobservant to everything around him, Renjun chooses to mind his business at all times, and Chenle doesn’t make assumptions about people. Jaemin, however, is nosy, especially when his best friend is involved. 

He waits until he is alone with Donghyuck, studying at his friend’s house, to bring it up. The situation is so familiar, the two hunched over Donghyuck’s kitchen table as they try to figure out calculus that Jaemin almost feels bad for broaching the topic when his friend is so oblivious to it all. 

“So Duckie…,” Jaemin begins. Donghyuck immediately sighs. Years of friendship has taught him that nothing good ever comes when Jaemin uses that voice. “When were you going to tell me that you are dating Mark?” he asks casually. 

Donghyuck stills. He feels his anxiety claw at his throat as he tries to find the words to answer Jaemin. He isn’t ready for this. He hasn’t dealt with his issues yet. Hasn’t dealt with his internalized homophobia telling him that his friends and family finding out about his sexuality is the worst thing that could possibly happen. 

“W-What?” is all Donghyuck can stutter out, trying to stay calm despite the hurricane that is raging within his heart. _Stay calm. It’s just Jaemin. He is your best friend. He isn’t going to treat you any differently. Probably. I mean you don’t know that for sure…_

“Don’t even try to deny it,” Jaemin smirks, interrupting Donghyuck’s thought spiral. “I have read every John Green book. I have seen the Notebook 87 times. I know the look in people’s eyes when they are simultaneously loved and in love. And it’s all I see when I look at you and Mark. So spill. Who confessed to who? When? As your best friend that isn’t your boyfriend, you owe me every single detail.”

Donghyuck takes a deep breath trying to gain control of the situation. He knows he can’t deny it now. “Mark confessed to me two years ago. I’ve had a crush on him my entire life so we started dating right away. We had… a moment recently that really solidified our relationship. That’s why we’ve been so lovey-dovey I guess… we just couldn’t help it,” he says honestly. 

He thought that confessing his deepest secret might feel like a weight being lifted off of his shoulders but instead he feels his chest tightening and his fists clenching. He tries to think rationally but all he can feel is anxiety as he tries to handle a situation that he is not ready for. 

Jaemin looks at him confused. “Two years? You’ve been dating for TWO years and didn’t bother to tell anyone? Why? Is it because of Mark’s parents? I know how religious they are…,” Jaemin trails off. 

Donghyuck knows he owes his friend an explanation, however, he doesn’t know how to frame his thoughts in a way that won’t make him seem like a horrible person. But this is his best friend and he can’t lie to him. So he tells the horrible, shameful, ugly truth. 

“It’s not just Mark. It’s me too. I wanted to keep it a secret just as much as Mark did. We just… weren’t as good at hiding it as I thought,” Donghyuck admits, unable to meet Jaemin’s eyes. 

Jaemin stays quiet for a minute, processing everything Donghyuck is saying. He doesn’t quite get where his friend is coming from. If he is being honest with himself, this is not at all how he thought this conversation was going to go. 

“Donghyuck, what are you saying? Why didn’t you want to tell anyone? You know your family wouldn’t mind at all. They know about me and they are nothing but loving towards me,” he says trying to comfort his friend. Afterall, he knows exactly what it feels like to risk family exile in order to be true to yourself. Luckily, his parents were accepting, just as he knows Donghyuck’s will be when they learn the truth. 

“I know they’ll love me the same, it’s just… it’s just I know that everything will change. Everyone will know this intimate detail about me and they are all going to judge me for it. They will treat me differently even if they accept me. And there’s so much about me that I’m proud of, Jaemin. I don’t want to be known as the gay kid,” Donghyuck confesses, looking down because he can’t face Jaemin with all of the shame he is feeling. 

Jaemin looks at Donghyuck with hot tears in his eyes. “The gay kid… you mean like me? Is that really all you see me as? Not as a good friend, or someone in theater club, or even your best friend. Just the fucking gay kid,” he says as the tears make their way down his face. 

Donghyuck is crying too at this point, regret overtaking his entire baby. “Jaemin, that’s not what I meant,” he pleads, eyes begging for Jaemin to understand. But it’s too late, Jaemin is already packing up his stuff and rushing out the door. 

Donghyuck slides to the floor as his anxiety attack finally overtakes him. He can't hold himself up, he can’t breath, he can’t stop his heart from beating out of his chest. He doesn’t know how long he stays there panicking on his kitchen floor before exhaustion overtakes him. 

He doesn’t know when he comes to again, but no one in his family is home yet so it can’t have been very long. He gathers up his homework, walks to his room, and collapses onto his bed and cries. 

Cries because his biggest fear came true. Cries because he just lost his best friend. Cries because he is a coward. Cries because he is a horrible person. Cries and cries and cries. 

☼ 

The whole weekend passes without a word from Jaemin. Donghyuck spend the days that pass at home, not bothering to talk to anyone. He cancels all of his plans with lame excuses of being under the weather. It’s not entirely false, given the fact that he feels absolutely sick to his stomach. 

When Monday comes around, Donghyuck spends the entire day unable to focus on anything. He catches sight of Jaemin once in the hallway, but the other boy quickly runs the other way before Donghyuck can catch up. Donghyuck spends the entire lunch period looking at the doors to the cafeteria anxiously, waiting for Jaemin. He never comes. 

Mark senses his distress and puts a comforting hand on his thigh, but the action just stresses Donghyuck out even more. All he can think about is how someone else will notice and he will have to go through this all over again. He doesn’t know if he could handle that. 

Luckily the bell rings and Donghyuck is pulled from his thoughts. He goes through the rest of the day in a haze, waiting for the day to end so he can go home and fall apart. Minutes tick on at an agonizing pace, and the day ends just before Donghyuck completely loses it. 

He goes to his locker, packs up his stuff, and gets ready to leave as soon as possible. When he closes his locker, however, he is met with a face. It’s a girl from his calculus class. 

“Congrats, Donghyuck! This must be such an exciting moment for you. And it’s such a step forward for the LGBT community at this school. You should be very proud,” she says earnestly. 

Donghyuck feels his blood run cold. Did Jaemin tell people his secret? “What are you talking about?” he asks nervously. 

The girl just laughs. “Silly boy, did you forget? It’s yearbook day. And you and Mark won class couple. Look,” she exclaims shoving the yearbook in his face. 

Donghyuck is shocked when looking at the page in front of him. There is a photo of him and Mark taken in the cafeteria staring lovingly into each other’s eyes under a banner reading **CLASS COUPLE.**

“Anyways, I have to go, my mom is waiting. Congrats again,” she finishes. And then she’s gone. 

Donghyuck immediately goes into full panic mode, an anxiety attack beginning in the middle of the hallway. He can feel the looks on him as he gasps for breath, tears filling his eyes and threatening to overspill. The hallway begins to fade as he tunnel-visions in on his own panic. 

He has enough sense to realize that someone is coming up to him, wrapping him into their arms and dragging him outside and into the backseat of a car. The arms wrap around him again, calming him down, whispering comforting words into his ear. Through blurry vision, Donghyuck makes out the face of the person who rescued him from the hallway. _Jaemin_

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry,” Donghyuck sobs, clinging to his best friend for dear life. 

Jaemin holds him tightly, rubbing his hair softly. “Shhh… it’s okay. Everything is going to be okay, I promise. I’m sorry too. I know how hard it is to come out, I can’t imagine doing it when I’m not ready,” he comforts. 

Donghyuck chokes on a sob, feeling undeserving of the friend in front of him. “I don’t see you as my gay friend Nana, I swear. You’re the bravest person I know. Everyday I think about how I wish I could be as open as you,” he confesses, voice quivering with emotion. 

Jaemin shushes him, the two knowing that their friendship is on good terms once again. They spend the next couple of minutes making sure Donghyuck has calmed down, before moving to the front of the car. 

As Jaemin drives Donghyuck home, the latter checks his phone. All of the messages are filled with congratulations. He quickly taps on the message from Mark, reading it frantically. Donghyuck forgot that this is also Mark’s big coming out day. 

_Heard the news. Hope you’re okay. I have to go home and tell my parents before word gets out. I’ll call you later. Love you._

Donghyuck sends a quick message wishing him luck before turning his gaze out the window, reflecting on the bomb that was dropped on him this afternoon. He lets out a laugh, causing Jaemin to look at him confused. “What is it?” Jaemin asks, concerned for his friend after the emotionally charged day. 

“It’s just… I was so worried about people treating me differently if they knew I was dating Mark. But they’ve all known, and no one even batted an eye. I didn’t even notice because everything was so normal,” he confesses. “I feel silly now for being so worried.”

Jaemin smiles softly at him. “It’s normal to be worried about this. Don’t beat yourself up,” he says as he pulls into Donghyuck’s driveway. “Are you going to be okay? I have theater club in 20 minutes but I can stay if you need me,” Jaemin offers. 

Donghyuck reassures him that he is going to fine. “If anything, I feel cathartic. I think it will be awhile before I am 100% comfortable with all of this, but I’m no longer horrified by the idea of people knowing. I think I’m realizing that I was the only one letting it define me. And that’s enough, at least for now,” he says. 

He gives his friend one more quick hug before heading into his house. His mom is standing in the kitchen, covered in flour as she stirs the mixture in the bowl she is holding. 

She looks up at him, smiling as he enters the room. “Hey sweetie, how was school,” she asks, completely oblivious to the turmoil her son had been going through just 30 minutes prior. 

Donghyuck decides he might as well get this over with, so he confesses. “It was yearbook day at school today,” he begins. She hums gently, more focused on the mixture in her hands than what her son is saying. “Me and Mark, um, we won class couple,” he finishes, biting his lip as he looks for a reaction from his mother. 

“Congratulations sweetie. I’m not surprised, I always thought that you guys made a beautiful couple. Now help me stir, my arms are getting tired,” she says passing the bowl to him.

He stands frozen for a second, before doing as he was told. He can’t believe it. Even his mom knew. And nothing has changed. 

☼

Mark grips the steering wheel tightly as he drives home, nerves sparking adrenaline that runs through his entire body. He can’t help but worry that maybe soon he won’t have a place to call home anymore. 

By the time he pulls into his driveway, tears are flowing freely from his eyes. He takes a moment to sit in his car and take slow, steady breaths willing himself to calm down. After a few minutes, he pulls himself together, and heads into his house, absolutely terrified at the conversation he is about to have. 

He finds his parents in the living room. His dad reading the newspaper while his mom knits. They don’t know that their son is about to drop a bombshell on them, sharing news that could change everything. 

He stands in the doorway staring at them briefly, taking them in. If things go poorly, he wants one final memory of them that is happy. The two of them sitting together peacefully, feeling nothing but love for their youngest son. 

After several moments his mom looks up, a frown on her face. “Sweetie, what’s wrong?” she asks, causing his dad to turn to him as well. 

Mark’s eyes fill with tears as he enters the room and stands in front of his parents. “I have something to tell you guys,” he admits, voice shaking as he tries to keep it together. His parents stare at him with concerned frowns on their face waiting for him to continue. 

“I’ve been dating Donghyuck for two years,” he confesses, taking in the shocked expressions on his parent’s faces. He continues quickly as the anxiety and stress and fear catches up with him. “We’ve been keeping it a secret, but it’s yearbook day and we were chosen as class couple. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner but I was so scared,” he says bursting into tears as soon as he finishes. 

His parents sit frozen in front of him, unable to say anything, clearly surprised at their son’s outburst. Mark interprets their silence as rejection, burying his face into his hands and letting out loud, violent sobs. 

His mom snaps out of it quickly, grabbing Mark and pulling him so he is sitting in between them on the couch. She wraps her arms around him comforting him in a way that she hasn’t had to since he was a little kid. 

“Shh.. it’s okay sweetie. We aren’t mad. We love you so much. Nothing is going to change that, okay? It’s all alright love,” she whispers, holding on tight. 

The words just make Mark sob even harder. He was so certain that he was going to lose his family today. That they would turn their back on him once they found out who he truly was. But the day has come, and they know, and everyone knows, and it’s all okay. 

“I’m sorry,” Mark says, wiping his eyes. “It’s just… we’ve never talked about gay people before. I didn’t know what you would think and I automatically assumed the worst.”

“Mark, do you love Donghyuck?” his father asks. Mark nods, “More than anything.” 

“And he loves you too, he treats you right?” his father asks again, Mark immediately agreeing. “We are really good together, dad,” he admits, finally telling his parents the most intimate details of his life. 

“Well son, then that’s all that matters.”

☼

It’s later that night when Mark and Donghyuck finally meet up, together for the first time since their secret was revealed to everyone. Well, it wasn’t technically revealed because everyone already knew. 

Donghyuck’s head is rested in the crook of Mark’s neck as they lay in the older’s bed. His parents are in their room down the hall, but it doesn’t matter. They won’t ever have to hide again. 

“Not going to lie, I thought we were kind of subtle. But everyone knew the entire time, huh?” Donghyuck says softly, nuzzling into his boyfriend’s neck. 

Mark smirks, holding Donghyuck close. “It’s because we love each other too much, we can’t hide it,” he replies gently. 

Mark can practically feel Donghyuck rolling his eyes against him. “When did you become so cheesy? What happened to my tsundere boyfriend?” he asks jokingly. 

Mark laughs before trailing off. “You’re okay though, right?” he asks seriously. It was an emotionally charged day and he knows that Donghyuck struggles with anxiety. The last thing he wants to do is ignore that because his own coming out had gone fine. 

Donghyuck thinks the question over for a couple seconds, and realize that yes. Everything went okay. He is okay. They are okay. And in this moment he can’t feel anything but gratitude for this precious moment. 

“More than okay,” he replies before leaning down, meeting his boyfriend’s lips in a soft, gentle kiss, the anxiety of being caught having been lifted permanently. 

☼

Prom Night is magical. Mark arrives to pick Donghyuck up, the two dressed in matching suits. They pin flowers to each other’s chest, getting lost in the feeling of getting to live out all of the clichés they thought weren’t meant for people like them. 

They spend the entire night dancing with their friends, enjoying the moment and enjoying each other. Halfway through the evening, the Principal gets on stage for the coronation. He calls Mark and Donghyuck to up to accept their crowns and be welcomed as the first ever Prom King and King of their high school. 

They walk up the stage nervously, Donghyuck feeling his anxiety start to resurface. He looks out at the crowd and locks eyes with Jaemin. He is smiling softly at him, giving him a thumbs up, his other hand gripping his date’s hand tightly. Jaemin was smitten with Jisung and Donghyuck was so happy that his best friend could have his dream Prom night. 

He decides to be brave and accept the crown and enjoy it. He is going to be brave for people like Jaemin. For everyone out there who was like him. For everyone who might have went through the emotions he has been going through since he first realized he liked boys in 5th grade. 

So he grabs Mark’s hand and drags them into the middle of the dance floor, a slow song beginning to congratulate the couple. Everybody is looking at Donghyuck, and for the first time he is being seen. Seen for who he is really is. 

And the thought doesn’t scare him. He doesn’t even notice them. Because his eyes are only focused on Mark. The boy who was just as scared as he was. The boy who had to overcome the same things he did. The boy who knew the ugliest parts of him and accepted him anyway. The boy who loved him. 

So he clings to him, everyone else fading out in front of him. He knows it’s cliché but he doesn’t care. Everyone deserves clichés every once in a while, even people like him.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm a little disappointed with how this fic turned out because I really love the concept but i don't think i was able to do it justice. i have a lot of ideas and will continue writing and improving so i hope you all anticipate and enjoy. as always, please leave any thoughts/ideas/feelings/criticism below, i love to know what you guys are thinking uwu
> 
> also title is from the song looking too closely by fink
> 
> ps the idea for this fic came from a tweet saying that mark and hyuck look like the class couple from any given high school and i agree.
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/lefargenjeno)
> 
> [my cc](https://curiouscat.me/lefargen)


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